


Entirely Logical

by Michinokao



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Logic, Lucius Malfoy Being an Asshole, Lucius Malfoy is Lost, Reincarnation, Shouta as Severus, The Wizarding World Hates this Trick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27329380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michinokao/pseuds/Michinokao
Summary: Shouta-as-Severus argues Lucius Malfoy into an existential crisis ten minutes after meeting him.
Relationships: Lucius Malfoy & Aizawa Shouta, Lucius Malfoy & Severus Snape
Comments: 22
Kudos: 305





	Entirely Logical

After headmaster Dumbledore’s rather dark welcoming speech (it included an array of warnings and disturbing news of You-Know-Who’s actions) – which was, in fact, Severus’ very first welcoming speech – the feast began with house elves letting appear an overwhelming amount of food on the tables.

Severus looked around, spotted a bowl of applesauce – which was close enough to fruit snacks in consistency and taste, he guessed – and just as he was about to stretch his arm for the ladle that was sticking out of it, another hand grabbed it. Fine, he could wait. So he let his arm suspended in the air but the ladle was passed to another upper year student with a grin.

Severus sighed inaudibly and let his arm crash down without any regards to the plates it landed on. For a second, utter silence reigned in the immediate vicinity of his portion of the Slytherin table before he slowly dragged his arm back to his body. A pale kid with blond ponytail sneered down at him from the opposite seat row (or tried to – Severus had a whole past lifetime under his belt in which he’d been frequently mistaken as a homeless drug addict... a little bit of sneering definitely didn’t come close to being thrown out of stores due to the way he looked and smelled after his shifts as an underground hero). “Tche, typical mudblood.” the blond remarked in a way too velvety voice for it to be his natural one.

Tired bloodshot eyes – those just _had_ to follow him into this life as well, hadn’t they? – looked the upperclassman into his very soul... or lack thereof. “Mud...blood.” Severus monotonously parroted. Oh, he knew that word. He’d once visited his grandfather (on his mother’s side) and the old wheelchair-bound man hadn’t been able to utter many words but when he saw his grandson for the first time _mudblood_ had been one he’d generously thrown at Severus’ face more than a dozen times. (With a lot of spittle. Severus had not been sad at the man’s demise six months later.)

“Does the little mudblood not know his place?” a girl cooed, smiling so sugary sweet it made a part of him cringe in disgust.

“I do know my place.” he retorted deadpanned, “It’s right here. Otherwise I’d be in one of the three other houses.”

Pale-And-Blond let out a _totally not amused_ chuckle. “Oh, he is a jester. Fits his blood status.” That comment brought with it a dozen or so people forcefully – demonstratively, really – giggling in the same pseudo-dignified way the jerk had done before. Severus’ mind conjured up the image of a herd of sheep bleating mindlessly and hid his mouth in the light grey scarf he’d brought with him to Hogwarts.

“Aw, is he ashamed? Do you reckon he finally realized how utterly ludicrous his presence is next to ours?” Pale-And-Blond (Severus didn’t even care about his name, in all honesty) gloated.

Because he liked – loved – winning stupid arguments with logic – and because he adored logic in general – the black haired boy grinned in that unsettling manner he’d evolved during his three years at UA and replied almost too devoid of emotion: “Yes, I truly realize now how wrong my position on this table is. I am, after all, someone who likes to think for himself and don’t particularly enjoy it when others dictate my opinion on something as insignificant as blood purity.” The _unlike you lot_ was heavily implied.

The slowly crumbling self-restraint on Pale-And-Blond’s face was _delicious._

“I... don’t think you know how much influence the house Malfoy has.” he hissed.

“Malfoy?” Severus’ mimic was blank, “Sounds rough. I hope you will recover soon.”

From the fact that several of the others who’d before rooted for PAB now hid their smirks and even one of them clasped his hand over his mouth to suppress a laugh, Severus supposed they couldn’t be all that loyal to the brat.

“Anyways, no I don’t know how much influence your house has. Do tell.”

PAB was quick to oblige: “The House Malfoy is one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight Houses. We are _influential_ in the Wizarding World. So influential, in fact, you could find yourself kicked out of magical Britain if I’m having a truly bad day. I wouldn’t try me, ickle mudblood.” There’s a sadistic glint forming in his eyes as he leaned over the table to whisper out his threat.

Severus blinked unimpressed. “Being kicked out of Britain’s Wizarding World wouldn’t be the worst thing, to be honest. You severely lag behind muggles in terms of living comfort, technology, world views and science. In a few decades, the Muggle World will easily become even better while I’m a hundred percent sure the Wizarding World will remain utterly stagnant without drastic intervention. I know for a fact muggles are already taking steps into building a world-wide connecting web of information. What are the wizards doing, Malfoy? Are they inventing yet another spell with runes whose function they barely understand? Are they coming up with new potions whose foundations lie in muggle medicine because they have no idea how things work and are just adapting muggle ideas and studies into their own profession? Are they finally putting aside the ridiculous notion paper needs to be made out of leather and you can only write with quills? What little insignificant things will they do while the muggles are conquering reason and logic?”

Malfoy’s (ugh, the name stuck... what a pain in the ass) mouth was open in shock. Of course he’d never heard anyone claim the Muggle World superior to the Wizarding one. No wonder – muggleborns would ultimately be overwhelmed and excited at the prospect of learning something straight out of a fantasy novel, too much to look beyond the golden facade. Severus had grown up in a mixed household. His mother was a witch, his father a muggle and thus he’d had both sides to compare. (And a lifetime of memories in a future version of the Muggle World.) He had the brain of a thirty-one year old when he was born. In his past life as Shouta Aizawa he’d relied on logic... and now that he was enjoying his stay in an utmost illogical magical castle, he was itching to bring reason to this place.

“Bu... But muggles don’t have magic! How could they possibly be better at something than wizards?!” Some of the others who were listening to the conversation nodded in agreement.

All eyes were on Severus. “Well, it’s quite simple.”

“Simple?!” one of the upper class girls exclaimed in disbelief. A boy snorted and mumbled: “Yeah, sure.”

“It is.” Severus explained, “Wizards and witches automatically rely on magic for everything they do. They don’t think to look at it from a scientific perspective because they don’t learn how to do that at Hogwarts. They know how runes work but they don’t know _why_. Well, imagine if you didn’t have magic and still wanted food cooled. How would you do that? Easy. Observe nature, think of things you could invent to _capture_ a natural occurrence and build a machine out of that idea. Muggles are used to looking at nature for answers, wizards aren’t. That’s why muggles intrinsically know the _Whys_ , unlike wizards.”

Malfoy visible swallowed. His eyes hardened. “ _We_ can easily kill people. Can your _beloved_ muggles do that?”

Oh, what a sweet summer child. Severus’ mouth pulled into a Shouta-worthy dark grin. “Muggles are _experts_ at killing others. Have you ever heard of Nagasaki? Of the Holocaust? Of _guns_?”

The look on Malfoy’s face – steadily growing more and more lost and haunted – as Severus told him in details of what the aforementioned things entailed made him want to smile even broader.

“And... And wizards just let muggles _do_ that?” Malfoy whispered croakily.

“Naturally.” Severus said, “Wizards don’t take muggles seriously and easily forget about them. Also, if you were standing in the middle of a radioactive explosion, you wouldn’t have the time to do anything about it. You’d be dead.”

The Slytherin table was oddly silent after that.

Severus internally shrugged, entirely aware of how much he’d shaken their views in the last ten minutes. He glanced at the ladle in Malfoy’s hand.

“Can I please have my applesauce now?” he asked with pointedly raised eyebrows.

Malfoy gave him the scoop without a word.

His fingers were trembling.

Severus decided to ignore that fact. What mattered was his applesauce.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @droplet-dread-cat for everything and @michinokao for art


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